1. I write silly words to comfort myself.
2. Once someone said to me she lives with terror all the time so she understood me and my terror entirely and I said well the kind of terror I feel could not be lived with all the time because it is literally unendurable.
3. She became angry that I was invalidating her terror.
4. When we endure the unendurable we die and the person who keeps living is a dead person.
5. My therapist has started seeing the dead little girl and she has started taking to her so maybe there is rescue yet.
6. I wonder how much terror I gobbled up as a kid. Must have been a lot.