We negotiate boundaries. Incessantly. Boundaries are that which defines when I stop and she begins. Boundaries make the baby whole.
Boundaries are less given than you might assume. Than people assume. I see boundaries inside me and I fight for them. I fight for them because they are the contour of my being. For me, it’s a question of existing.
She plays along. Sometimes you can see the pain in the corners of her eyes. That is when it becomes painful for both of us. Sometimes she embraces the transgression.
Judith Butler; Marjorie Garber; Samuel Delany; Michel Foucault: pleasure is in transgression.
I thought analysis was the blotting out of pleasure. I had to re-educate myself, de-traumatize myself. She taught me that analysis is about enhancing pleasure.
Is this fight over boundaries an exercise in pleasuring?