psychoanalysis suicide

Survival, day 4

Black bottom half, maroon top half, with a stylized sun in the top left and a small stylized tree with tiny flowers on the right.
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I am here.

B. wholeheartedly reassured me. This is not going to happen. You will be okay. I will make personally sure this doesn’t happen. You have me.

Something as heavy as a boulder of tears dissolved and disappeared. She has reassured me before. This time I believed it.

I am here. I can barely believe it. In the morning I woke up feeling like death barely warmed over, now I’m here.

We survive together.


The day ends well

1. Banana bread with choc chips, walnuts, yogurt and jenmagic. We brought some to the downstairs neighbors who are always in need of appeasing because of my nocturnal life.

2. Huge confederate flags at early voting sites in NC. God save us all.

3. The patriarchy is having a very good time in America. The white heterosexual patriarchy that is. A pox on it.

4. The day is ending well. Praise be to the Lord.

5. I do invoke God, the Lord, etc. with playfulness, but in reality I cannot imagine existing without faith in an everloving, tender, endlessly providing God who is my mother my father my sister my lover my friend.

6. Faith lives best in our actions, far from our mouths. It is for others to call us Christians.